Recently I celebrated two anniversaries.
I am pleased to announce Eric and I have been married 16 years!!!
I love him dearly and am so blessed to have such an incredible husband.
Such a feat is either a lesson in miracles or sheer stubbornness, or perhaps a combination of the two.
I love to read and research. Unfortunately, much of the research I come across nowadays includes a section on divorce rate statistics for varying situations. Illness, moves, job loss, natural disasters, having a child with a disability, a spouse with cancer (especially if it is the wife who is sick), and the list goes on.
Basically there has been a 273% chance that we should have gotten a divorce. On the surface, that's not a pretty number.
However, it makes the victories in our marriage that much sweeter.
The other 'anniversary' is that of my cancer diagnosis. I spent our 13th wedding anniversary in the emergency room. Hearing that I had a large mass in my abdomen was not what I had hoped for that year, but what a tremendous gift that was. A gift of early detection. A gift of amazing Christian surgeons. A gift of having recently moved to the exact state with the exact specialty cancer hospital I needed. A gift of a shift in priorities. A gift of a new life really.
Praising the Lord for His amazing grace and mercy and His love and attention to each one of us.
Extremely humbling. Tremendously sobering.
I love my life! I'm so thankful for my anniversaries!
What are you thankful for today?
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
The Fog is lifting, but visibility is still questionable
Rapidly approaching is the much anticipated one year mark of being released from my daily chemo regiment. Essentially I was choosing to take poison - removed from the pesticide market due to it's ill effects on humans, now repackaged as an alternative to death and marked up 5000%.
Perfect.
It'll keep me here with my husband and children? Let's head to the pharmacy. And step on it!
Symptoms of taking such a fabulous drug were extensive. However, dealing with confusion, memory loss, nausea, vomiting, and a host of other unpleasant side effects I'll spare you from, far outweighed being dead.
(yes, heaven will be amazing, but every mom wants a chance to raise her precious babies!)
We were informed that the chemo tended to have lingering effects, remaining in my system for quite some time after ingesting my last dose. Perhaps a year, maybe more.
I've never received a clear answer - that I can recall - as to whether or not the brain damage could be permanent and have remained hopeful...most likely a drug-induced, fuzzy hope of regaining all my faculties.
Recently I have experienced a tremendous amount of false confidence, resulting in narrowly escaping an emergency room visit on more than one occasion.
These events of late, along with episodes of 'what day is it?' 'how do you spell that common word?' 'what's my birth date?' occasionally send a panic through me that I may never be 'the same' again.
My family views my not being 'the same' largely as a blessing. I have learned to let things go that may have dragged me down in the past. I think I now have the ability to be a 'fun' mom because I am not capable of thinking through all the repercussions until they materialize...after the fact. I can read the same book twice and still be surprised at how it ends. This is a money saver!
It's much harder to hold a grudge when you can't remember the conversation.
I am certain each of them could add to my list.
I refuse to go into detail regarding what may go down in family history as 'The Handstand Incident of 2011', but let's just say I didn't realize how old I was nor how long it had been since performing such a stunt, but I really did leave a lasting impression on my children.
And Eric for that matter.
Thankfully no one died. Namely me.
Nor was there any damage to property.
Or picture to prove it ever happened.
End of story.
It did, however, raise the question regarding the All-American saying -'it's just like riding a bike'.
Implying that said activity is 'a piece of cake'. EASY! Anyone can do it!
I can do it!
Eric has since mandated that I am not allowed to attempt riding a bicycle either.
Yes, even if I am wearing a helmet.
Refer back to my wanting to be here to raise my precious babies.
You would think I could connect the dots.
Even though I may remember the aforementioned 'Handstand Incident of 2011', I was incapable of correlating potential ill effects from other activities I deemed easy in my youth.
My youth - as in the the 70's and 80's.
Heck! Even the early 90's!
Yikes!
As I age I don't realize that there are now things that I have not done in decades.
DEC-ADES! Oh my goodness.
Periodically I require as much supervision as my children for my own safety. Unfortunately, one cannot begin to see into the future and pinpoint which outing may be undeniably unsafe. So on a warm June evening I set out to the playground with my two pumpkin-heads, Emily and Daniel.
The mission?
Let Daniel run off some energy at the playground, while Emily and I enjoy the warm day and play quiet games, such as tic-tac-toe and hangman at the picnic table. All in hopes that the fresh air and running around will lead to an efficient, pleasant bedtime routine.
We live in an apartment complex and typically there are other children on the playground for Daniel to interact with.
Any idea where this is headed??
After giving him an 'obstacle course' to run while I timed him, secret playground missions to go on, and several rounds of the ever-popular mom trick of 'OOH! Let me see that AGAIN! It was SO cool!', I was forced into interacting - for a few moments - with a healthy, active, five-year-old boy.
Oh dear.
At first he was the commander - he's been General Washington for the last several weeks and I'm starting to have nightmares that 'The Red Coats are Coming!'.
Alas! Here was my chance to fight for our freedom!
Before we could begin, I received detailed instruction on how to hold my imaginary rifle.
This was a painfully longer lesson that I had thought possible as he was very specific and I failed - repeatedly - to hold it correctly. He insisted it be held properly before we could engage in battle.
Later in life his desire to teach someone the proper and correct way to complete a task will definitely be in his favor and his students, employees, children, etc. will greatly benefit.
For now, his mommy just wants to be done playing soldier on the playground for all to see.
I still had a teensy bit a pride left.
If I had known what was to follow, I could have skipped the desire to clutch that last bit of pride so tightly, for it was to be yanked from me in just a few short moments.
After several painstaking lessons on how to properly handle my imaginary rifle, I was allowed onto the battlefield with said five-year-old. We outsmarted the enemy for quite some time and had a very successful victory over the British with no casualties.
Excellent.
I headed back to the safety of games to be played on paper with Emily.
Daniel's thirst for a playmate had not been quenched by just one battle.
Bummer.
As soon as I was seated the pleas resumed and as the requests wafted over the wood-chip covered playground for someone to play with the poor, lonely little boy with the incredible imagination, I pondered what my next adventure may entail.
I had already determined I did not want to experience failing another rifle holding lesson. Now what?
And then...I had a brilliant idea!
I challenged Daniel (the healthy, energetic General) to a race across the monkey bars.
The monkey bars are easy.
Let's go!
We climb to the platform.
We place our hands on the bars.
I shout 'ready? set! GO!
We launch ourselves off the platform.
Daniel races across the monkey bars to the other side.
I.
Well.
There wasn't much of a race to be had for me.
You see, as soon as I let my body drop from the platform, my arms were ripped from their sockets.
I was incapable of releasing my grip from the first bar as all nerves were now disconnected and no longer sending messages to my brain.
I hung there.
For a bit.
Not certain of my next move.
Perhaps I was in shock.
This was not good, for Daniel still thinks the emergency # for help is 9-9-1 and as much as I drill Emily, she does not know where we live.
This is where I determined that yes, I do still have chemo brain.
I also need to wear a slip of paper pinned to my shirt with my name and address and emergency contact information written on it in bold sharpie.
'Release! Release!' my fiery shoulders audibly scream to my now numb hands.
And down to the ground I drop.
Even without Emily's proclamation of Daniel as the winner, I did realize that, clearly, my monkey bar racing days were over.
Perhaps they've been over for many moons longer than I could have guesstimated.
Also over were any days that may require the use of my arms.
Perfect.
It'll keep me here with my husband and children? Let's head to the pharmacy. And step on it!
Symptoms of taking such a fabulous drug were extensive. However, dealing with confusion, memory loss, nausea, vomiting, and a host of other unpleasant side effects I'll spare you from, far outweighed being dead.
(yes, heaven will be amazing, but every mom wants a chance to raise her precious babies!)
We were informed that the chemo tended to have lingering effects, remaining in my system for quite some time after ingesting my last dose. Perhaps a year, maybe more.
I've never received a clear answer - that I can recall - as to whether or not the brain damage could be permanent and have remained hopeful...most likely a drug-induced, fuzzy hope of regaining all my faculties.
Recently I have experienced a tremendous amount of false confidence, resulting in narrowly escaping an emergency room visit on more than one occasion.
These events of late, along with episodes of 'what day is it?' 'how do you spell that common word?' 'what's my birth date?' occasionally send a panic through me that I may never be 'the same' again.
My family views my not being 'the same' largely as a blessing. I have learned to let things go that may have dragged me down in the past. I think I now have the ability to be a 'fun' mom because I am not capable of thinking through all the repercussions until they materialize...after the fact. I can read the same book twice and still be surprised at how it ends. This is a money saver!
It's much harder to hold a grudge when you can't remember the conversation.
I am certain each of them could add to my list.
I refuse to go into detail regarding what may go down in family history as 'The Handstand Incident of 2011', but let's just say I didn't realize how old I was nor how long it had been since performing such a stunt, but I really did leave a lasting impression on my children.
And Eric for that matter.
Thankfully no one died. Namely me.
Nor was there any damage to property.
Or picture to prove it ever happened.
End of story.
It did, however, raise the question regarding the All-American saying -'it's just like riding a bike'.
Implying that said activity is 'a piece of cake'. EASY! Anyone can do it!
I can do it!
Eric has since mandated that I am not allowed to attempt riding a bicycle either.
Yes, even if I am wearing a helmet.
Refer back to my wanting to be here to raise my precious babies.
You would think I could connect the dots.
Even though I may remember the aforementioned 'Handstand Incident of 2011', I was incapable of correlating potential ill effects from other activities I deemed easy in my youth.
My youth - as in the the 70's and 80's.
Heck! Even the early 90's!
Yikes!
As I age I don't realize that there are now things that I have not done in decades.
DEC-ADES! Oh my goodness.
Periodically I require as much supervision as my children for my own safety. Unfortunately, one cannot begin to see into the future and pinpoint which outing may be undeniably unsafe. So on a warm June evening I set out to the playground with my two pumpkin-heads, Emily and Daniel.
The mission?
Let Daniel run off some energy at the playground, while Emily and I enjoy the warm day and play quiet games, such as tic-tac-toe and hangman at the picnic table. All in hopes that the fresh air and running around will lead to an efficient, pleasant bedtime routine.
We live in an apartment complex and typically there are other children on the playground for Daniel to interact with.
Any idea where this is headed??
After giving him an 'obstacle course' to run while I timed him, secret playground missions to go on, and several rounds of the ever-popular mom trick of 'OOH! Let me see that AGAIN! It was SO cool!', I was forced into interacting - for a few moments - with a healthy, active, five-year-old boy.
Oh dear.
At first he was the commander - he's been General Washington for the last several weeks and I'm starting to have nightmares that 'The Red Coats are Coming!'.
Alas! Here was my chance to fight for our freedom!
Before we could begin, I received detailed instruction on how to hold my imaginary rifle.
This was a painfully longer lesson that I had thought possible as he was very specific and I failed - repeatedly - to hold it correctly. He insisted it be held properly before we could engage in battle.
Later in life his desire to teach someone the proper and correct way to complete a task will definitely be in his favor and his students, employees, children, etc. will greatly benefit.
For now, his mommy just wants to be done playing soldier on the playground for all to see.
I still had a teensy bit a pride left.
If I had known what was to follow, I could have skipped the desire to clutch that last bit of pride so tightly, for it was to be yanked from me in just a few short moments.
After several painstaking lessons on how to properly handle my imaginary rifle, I was allowed onto the battlefield with said five-year-old. We outsmarted the enemy for quite some time and had a very successful victory over the British with no casualties.
Excellent.
I headed back to the safety of games to be played on paper with Emily.
Daniel's thirst for a playmate had not been quenched by just one battle.
Bummer.
As soon as I was seated the pleas resumed and as the requests wafted over the wood-chip covered playground for someone to play with the poor, lonely little boy with the incredible imagination, I pondered what my next adventure may entail.
I had already determined I did not want to experience failing another rifle holding lesson. Now what?
And then...I had a brilliant idea!
I challenged Daniel (the healthy, energetic General) to a race across the monkey bars.
The monkey bars are easy.
Let's go!
We climb to the platform.
We place our hands on the bars.
I shout 'ready? set! GO!
We launch ourselves off the platform.
Daniel races across the monkey bars to the other side.
I.
Well.
There wasn't much of a race to be had for me.
You see, as soon as I let my body drop from the platform, my arms were ripped from their sockets.
I was incapable of releasing my grip from the first bar as all nerves were now disconnected and no longer sending messages to my brain.
I hung there.
For a bit.
Not certain of my next move.
Perhaps I was in shock.
This was not good, for Daniel still thinks the emergency # for help is 9-9-1 and as much as I drill Emily, she does not know where we live.
This is where I determined that yes, I do still have chemo brain.
I also need to wear a slip of paper pinned to my shirt with my name and address and emergency contact information written on it in bold sharpie.
'Release! Release!' my fiery shoulders audibly scream to my now numb hands.
And down to the ground I drop.
Even without Emily's proclamation of Daniel as the winner, I did realize that, clearly, my monkey bar racing days were over.
Perhaps they've been over for many moons longer than I could have guesstimated.
Also over were any days that may require the use of my arms.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Top Reads for 2009
Yes, 2009. As I searched my blog posts for a particular theme, I ran across this draft. I'm not certain why I never posted it, but these are not only books I still recommend, but ones I think I may read again in 2011! I am now inspired to write up my 2010 favorites! Perhaps I can post those within the year ;)
One would think I have all sorts of time for reading, which, in part, I do. It's the retention, the focus, etc that get in the way, so I haven't read as much as I would have liked. But out of what I have read this year, here are my favs...
The Shape of Mercy by Susan Meissner
A gripping book that is set in two different centuries. Strong characters and story line made me want to jump into the book so I could help the characters see what they were missing - ugh. SO good - You'll probably need a box of Kleenex. This would be my first pick for a book club read because there is so much to discuss and it was hard to not share when I read it through the first time...
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer
Set primarily in the WWII occupied English Channel. Rarely do I deviate from Christian fiction, but this came highly recommended. Not only did I enjoy the read, but the unique style of writing was a nice change of pace.
The French Twist Series by Sandra Byrd
"Let them eat Cake", "Bon Appetit", and "Piece de Resistance"
I'm not sure if it is my current penchant for carbs, or the 5 years of French I took - solely based on where I would want to travel, or the NW setting, but I thoroughly enjoyed these light, engaging novels. You may want to locate your nearest pastry shop prior to reading.
One would think I have all sorts of time for reading, which, in part, I do. It's the retention, the focus, etc that get in the way, so I haven't read as much as I would have liked. But out of what I have read this year, here are my favs...
The Shape of Mercy by Susan Meissner
A gripping book that is set in two different centuries. Strong characters and story line made me want to jump into the book so I could help the characters see what they were missing - ugh. SO good - You'll probably need a box of Kleenex. This would be my first pick for a book club read because there is so much to discuss and it was hard to not share when I read it through the first time...
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer
Set primarily in the WWII occupied English Channel. Rarely do I deviate from Christian fiction, but this came highly recommended. Not only did I enjoy the read, but the unique style of writing was a nice change of pace.
The French Twist Series by Sandra Byrd
"Let them eat Cake", "Bon Appetit", and "Piece de Resistance"
I'm not sure if it is my current penchant for carbs, or the 5 years of French I took - solely based on where I would want to travel, or the NW setting, but I thoroughly enjoyed these light, engaging novels. You may want to locate your nearest pastry shop prior to reading.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
A NEW CAR
It was a stupid, insufficient answer to a very large and looming question.
What do you want?
Now, I have many things on my 'what do I want' list...
A Cure for Cancer!
My daughter to WALK - to be fully healed of her medical issues.
Eric's health to be restored -or at the very least to hitch a ride with Marty McFly and Doc Brown and KNOW what the problem was earlier!!
OK. Perhaps that would have been too far back, but you get my point.
To be taller.
To have different knees.
You know...the normal stuff ;)
When I began thinking of things I wanted I tried to narrow it down to realistic things.
A NEW CAR is still in the realm of possibilities on this side of heaven.
What I am most irritated about is that I couldn't condense the amount of information regarding this said 'NEW CAR' want into a quick answer. I froze. I said something stupid.
Not the first time...but it was a time I wish I had said something that sounded a little less shallow.
Let me tell you about my NEW CAR desire.
It doesn't need to be NEW.
It doesn't need to be a CAR.
In fact, it really needs NOT to be a CAR!
Quickly approaching is the time where we will be facing the purchase and delivery of a power wheelchair for Emily.
She NEEDS a power chair. Her shoulders are beginning to have wear. Pain. Problems.
There are many experiences she is missing out on because the manual chair is so limited in the surfaces it functions on.
This was a tough pill to swallow. Every time we think we are used to a situation, one more piece of equipment, one more diagnosis, one more surgery...we get something new to adjust to.
I am learning the art of joy in all circumstances.
Personally, I feel joy is best when served with brownies! =)
Back to the CAR.
It's more than a want. It's a need.
An avenue to experience adventures or seek the new in the ordinary.
A wheelchair van.
Not just any conversion van.
One with a power ramp or power lift.
And air conditioning.
One that is reliable for the millions of trips to the hospital.
Wednesday and Sundays and sometimes Thursdays to the church.
Wednesdays and Fridays to school.
Across town for play-dates with friends.
To the barn to ride Buttons, the miniature horse.
As often as we can to the Grandparents'.
Occasionally to the beach.
and perhaps...one day...it will drive us to Disneyland! =)
A vehicle that will allow for opportunities to go do things as a family we have not been able to do before. The power chairs really are a different animal than the manual!
I desire for Emily to experience life to the fullest -without being so exhausted by the wheeling that she doesn't have the energy to participate in the opportunities presented to her. Goodness! She can explore all sorts of new terrain ON HER OWN! The grass fields at the park. The horse barn. Brick sidewalks. DIRT!
I am SO excited for her!
The power chair will allow her to store up some of those reserves for when a manual chair is the more appropriate option. It's not an either/or situation.
I am now wishing I had spoken my thoughts out loud.
Leaving the wrong impression to those who may have been impressionable does not sit well with me.
I know God knows my wants. My needs.
I know He has a handle on this situation.
I am resting in the omniscience of God.
Occasionally I am a bit restless in my resting...
I'm working on that.
The more I stewed in the NEW CAR blunder, the more emotional I became.
No longer suffering due to my careless words. My mind screamed 'That's not what I WANT!'
Who WANTS a WHEELCHAIR VAN??
I WANT Emily to be physically WHOLE!
And I cried all over again.
Reliving the grief and the loss of certain hopes.
Certain dreams.
My heart twisted for how hard it is for her to want to do something she can't.
To be different.
To not always fit in despite her efforts.
To not be invited.
To be invited yet sit on the sidelines.
It's heart wrenching.
She's a smart, fun, generous, tenderhearted little girl with too many hurts and hurdles for one so young.
Emily radiates strength. Determination.
She dreams big.
She possesses the ability, intelligence, and tenacity to achieve virtually anything.
God knew the personality she would need to get through this life.
She is an inspiration to me.
A reminder that I need to get out of my pity party and start enjoying what I can do.
Fussing over my knees ain't gonna change 'em. Move on! =)
* I am looking at different avenues for acquiring an appropriate vehicle.
If you would add that to your prayer list we would appreciate it!
I know God has it all worked out, but sitting around waiting for one to drop from the sky is probably not the wisest - or safest - way to go at the moment.
Please also pray for Emily's health. She recently had surgery and is doing well. However, she will need a minimum of 3 more surgeries in the upcoming year.
Prayer is a powerful thing and we serve a mighty God.
Hugs to you all!
What do you want?
Now, I have many things on my 'what do I want' list...
A Cure for Cancer!
My daughter to WALK - to be fully healed of her medical issues.
Eric's health to be restored -or at the very least to hitch a ride with Marty McFly and Doc Brown and KNOW what the problem was earlier!!
OK. Perhaps that would have been too far back, but you get my point.
To be taller.
To have different knees.
You know...the normal stuff ;)
When I began thinking of things I wanted I tried to narrow it down to realistic things.
A NEW CAR is still in the realm of possibilities on this side of heaven.
What I am most irritated about is that I couldn't condense the amount of information regarding this said 'NEW CAR' want into a quick answer. I froze. I said something stupid.
Not the first time...but it was a time I wish I had said something that sounded a little less shallow.
Let me tell you about my NEW CAR desire.
It doesn't need to be NEW.
It doesn't need to be a CAR.
In fact, it really needs NOT to be a CAR!
Quickly approaching is the time where we will be facing the purchase and delivery of a power wheelchair for Emily.
She NEEDS a power chair. Her shoulders are beginning to have wear. Pain. Problems.
There are many experiences she is missing out on because the manual chair is so limited in the surfaces it functions on.
This was a tough pill to swallow. Every time we think we are used to a situation, one more piece of equipment, one more diagnosis, one more surgery...we get something new to adjust to.
I am learning the art of joy in all circumstances.
Personally, I feel joy is best when served with brownies! =)
Back to the CAR.
It's more than a want. It's a need.
An avenue to experience adventures or seek the new in the ordinary.
A wheelchair van.
Not just any conversion van.
One with a power ramp or power lift.
And air conditioning.
One that is reliable for the millions of trips to the hospital.
Wednesday and Sundays and sometimes Thursdays to the church.
Wednesdays and Fridays to school.
Across town for play-dates with friends.
To the barn to ride Buttons, the miniature horse.
As often as we can to the Grandparents'.
Occasionally to the beach.
and perhaps...one day...it will drive us to Disneyland! =)
A vehicle that will allow for opportunities to go do things as a family we have not been able to do before. The power chairs really are a different animal than the manual!
I desire for Emily to experience life to the fullest -without being so exhausted by the wheeling that she doesn't have the energy to participate in the opportunities presented to her. Goodness! She can explore all sorts of new terrain ON HER OWN! The grass fields at the park. The horse barn. Brick sidewalks. DIRT!
I am SO excited for her!
The power chair will allow her to store up some of those reserves for when a manual chair is the more appropriate option. It's not an either/or situation.
I am now wishing I had spoken my thoughts out loud.
Leaving the wrong impression to those who may have been impressionable does not sit well with me.
I know God knows my wants. My needs.
I know He has a handle on this situation.
I am resting in the omniscience of God.
Occasionally I am a bit restless in my resting...
I'm working on that.
The more I stewed in the NEW CAR blunder, the more emotional I became.
No longer suffering due to my careless words. My mind screamed 'That's not what I WANT!'
Who WANTS a WHEELCHAIR VAN??
I WANT Emily to be physically WHOLE!
And I cried all over again.
Reliving the grief and the loss of certain hopes.
Certain dreams.
My heart twisted for how hard it is for her to want to do something she can't.
To be different.
To not always fit in despite her efforts.
To not be invited.
To be invited yet sit on the sidelines.
It's heart wrenching.
She's a smart, fun, generous, tenderhearted little girl with too many hurts and hurdles for one so young.
Emily radiates strength. Determination.
She dreams big.
She possesses the ability, intelligence, and tenacity to achieve virtually anything.
God knew the personality she would need to get through this life.
She is an inspiration to me.
A reminder that I need to get out of my pity party and start enjoying what I can do.
Fussing over my knees ain't gonna change 'em. Move on! =)
* I am looking at different avenues for acquiring an appropriate vehicle.
If you would add that to your prayer list we would appreciate it!
I know God has it all worked out, but sitting around waiting for one to drop from the sky is probably not the wisest - or safest - way to go at the moment.
Please also pray for Emily's health. She recently had surgery and is doing well. However, she will need a minimum of 3 more surgeries in the upcoming year.
Prayer is a powerful thing and we serve a mighty God.
Hugs to you all!
Friday, May 14, 2010
I'm fighting a migraine, but just have to write some things down to share.
Many things have been difficult with moving home. I am hoping that some are temporary, but I can't begin to comprehend how God may work through those circumstances. Guess that's why I need to keep giving it all to Him.
I will say that Eric and I are finding much of what we had been missing back here at 'home'. Having lunch with my parents and my sister-in-law today was awesome. Followed by taking the kids to the park, throwing rocks in the lake, and finishing off the afternoon with a quick run through Dutch Bros. A nearly perfect day. I only wish Eric had been feeling well enough to join us.
This weekend has been great. Movie with a good friend Friday night, painting pottery and Starbucks with Em Saturday, and a fun-filled BBQ with old friends and new.
Eric has been blessed with jumping right into music.
We are enjoying being around our friends we've missed greatly in the last few years.
Friends that have had a place in our hearts and who have been such prayer warriors for us in our absence - a humbling experience. And to be meeting some wonderful new friends who have been on their knees for us when we were unaware.
Friends who are willing to say "but how are you really?"
God is Awesome
One of Eric's hopes with our return home was to start giving back in some way again. God is presenting several avenues and I find it amazing that Eric will bring something up that has been on his heart and almost immediately an opportunity will show itself. Very cool.
I still feel like a slug. I 'want' to do more, but don't 'feel' like it.
I realized Saturday when I was out with Emily that I need to quit waiting till I feel like it. I need to just do it. (thank you for reminding me my good friend - you know who you are and YOU are an amazing mom who does a multitude of things even though you don't 'feel' like it)
Yes, I'm tired. Yes, I don't feel good. Yes, I forget things, repeat myself, and sometimes perhaps should not be unattended ;) It boils down to the fact that I can't sit here and wait till I'm all put together. My kids are little and they need me to be a Mom.
A mom that plays, reads stories, and takes them to the park. A mom that will spend the afternoon at the pottery place, or making bird feeders out of pine-cones and peanut butter. The mom I want to be. It is oh-so-hard, yet oh-so-rewarding when my little ones tell me it is the best day they've ever had, or how much they are enjoying being with me. Makes it worth every ounce of energy.
My husband needs me to be a wife and friend, and I need to start socializing again for my own sanity. Fellowship is a good thing. Having friends who encourage us to get out, even out-right kidnapping us, is a glorious thing. Being around others is energizing and exhausting at the same time, but the investment has been immeasurable thus far.
I'm all over the place today.
I suppose I simply want to convey that we are doing well.
We miss those we have left around the country, but I think y'all are going to have to come here to see us ;)
Triann
Many things have been difficult with moving home. I am hoping that some are temporary, but I can't begin to comprehend how God may work through those circumstances. Guess that's why I need to keep giving it all to Him.
I will say that Eric and I are finding much of what we had been missing back here at 'home'. Having lunch with my parents and my sister-in-law today was awesome. Followed by taking the kids to the park, throwing rocks in the lake, and finishing off the afternoon with a quick run through Dutch Bros. A nearly perfect day. I only wish Eric had been feeling well enough to join us.
This weekend has been great. Movie with a good friend Friday night, painting pottery and Starbucks with Em Saturday, and a fun-filled BBQ with old friends and new.
Eric has been blessed with jumping right into music.
We are enjoying being around our friends we've missed greatly in the last few years.
Friends that have had a place in our hearts and who have been such prayer warriors for us in our absence - a humbling experience. And to be meeting some wonderful new friends who have been on their knees for us when we were unaware.
Friends who are willing to say "but how are you really?"
God is Awesome
One of Eric's hopes with our return home was to start giving back in some way again. God is presenting several avenues and I find it amazing that Eric will bring something up that has been on his heart and almost immediately an opportunity will show itself. Very cool.
I still feel like a slug. I 'want' to do more, but don't 'feel' like it.
I realized Saturday when I was out with Emily that I need to quit waiting till I feel like it. I need to just do it. (thank you for reminding me my good friend - you know who you are and YOU are an amazing mom who does a multitude of things even though you don't 'feel' like it)
Yes, I'm tired. Yes, I don't feel good. Yes, I forget things, repeat myself, and sometimes perhaps should not be unattended ;) It boils down to the fact that I can't sit here and wait till I'm all put together. My kids are little and they need me to be a Mom.
A mom that plays, reads stories, and takes them to the park. A mom that will spend the afternoon at the pottery place, or making bird feeders out of pine-cones and peanut butter. The mom I want to be. It is oh-so-hard, yet oh-so-rewarding when my little ones tell me it is the best day they've ever had, or how much they are enjoying being with me. Makes it worth every ounce of energy.
My husband needs me to be a wife and friend, and I need to start socializing again for my own sanity. Fellowship is a good thing. Having friends who encourage us to get out, even out-right kidnapping us, is a glorious thing. Being around others is energizing and exhausting at the same time, but the investment has been immeasurable thus far.
I'm all over the place today.
I suppose I simply want to convey that we are doing well.
We miss those we have left around the country, but I think y'all are going to have to come here to see us ;)
Triann
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Being Four...
"Only those who will risk going too far
can possibly find out how far they can go."
T. S. Eliot (1888-1965)
American-English poet and playwright
I had a switch flip the other day.
A monumental realization, actually.
It changed my life.
And I know it will change Daniel's as well.
My youngest is a FIREBALL!
Full of energy.
Most of the time sweet, yet often full of vinegar.
His curiosity is insatiable.
He has nearly no fear - it could have read NO FEAR up until recently.
He lives life with excitement and joy.
He loves a challenge - not in the obstacle sense, but in the 'I wonder' sense of the word.
Jumping, running FAST, charging through every event that presents itself.
He is super smart.
I am NOT the only one who feels this way - completely objective people have also made this observation.
Yes, I'm a proud mama, but in all honesty, he is truly bright.
God has flooded my mind with what is best for Daniel, as tired as I may be.
Let's fast forward 20 years.
A polite young man, a FIREBALL!
Full of energy, most of the time sweet and occasionally full of vinegar.
His curiosity is insatiable.
He has nearly no fear - now coupled with common sense.
He lives life with excitement and joy.
He loves a challenge - in the obstacle sense and in the 'I wonder' sense of the word.
Jumping, running FAST, charging through every event that presents itself.
He is super smart, educated.
All for God.
ALL FOR GOD.
>insert shedding of tears<
Did I mention I can be more emotional nowadays?
God: "it's not about you, Triann"
Hmmm...I've heard God say that to me before.
Several years ago - in regards to Emily.
I had a running, 'what am I supposed to learn from this?'
'Who am I supposed to be teaching about this?'
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!
Seriously.
An ugly, self-centered view of life.
And yet, God revealed this same truth to me about Daniel.
IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!!
It is about me
only in the context of God blessing me with two very unique, amazing children.
He has a special plan for my kiddos.
They are in my earthly care.
A huge responsibility.
But GOD has their hearts.
They will be amazing adults.
I can clearly see Daniel as an incredible Youth Pastor, or Missionary (even though that makes me want to start biting my nails), or perhaps in a mainstream job that allows him to have the full-of-life impact on so many who wander in darkness.
God intends to use Daniel's reckless abandon for His glory.
That makes me smile.
It makes me more tolerant(this is a work in progress), more willing to re-direct rather than punish, more excited about diverting those attributes into positive avenues in lieu of simply expecting them to diminish over time.
I need to celebrate the wonderful, creative, adventure-filled being that Daniel is.
Whether he is four or twenty-four, he is Child of God and HE has plans for him...I am so thankful for the opportunity to watch him grow into that young man.
For now, I will enjoy watching the energy I only wish I had.
Experience the curiosity through the eyes of a four year old.
And listen to my husband when he says, "don't look!" as Daniel proceeds to do something heart-stopping.
What about the little ones in your life can you choose to cherish, rather than try and change?
can possibly find out how far they can go."
T. S. Eliot (1888-1965)
American-English poet and playwright
I had a switch flip the other day.
A monumental realization, actually.
It changed my life.
And I know it will change Daniel's as well.
My youngest is a FIREBALL!
Full of energy.
Most of the time sweet, yet often full of vinegar.
His curiosity is insatiable.
He has nearly no fear - it could have read NO FEAR up until recently.
He lives life with excitement and joy.
He loves a challenge - not in the obstacle sense, but in the 'I wonder' sense of the word.
Jumping, running FAST, charging through every event that presents itself.
He is super smart.
I am NOT the only one who feels this way - completely objective people have also made this observation.
Yes, I'm a proud mama, but in all honesty, he is truly bright.
God has flooded my mind with what is best for Daniel, as tired as I may be.
Let's fast forward 20 years.
A polite young man, a FIREBALL!
Full of energy, most of the time sweet and occasionally full of vinegar.
His curiosity is insatiable.
He has nearly no fear - now coupled with common sense.
He lives life with excitement and joy.
He loves a challenge - in the obstacle sense and in the 'I wonder' sense of the word.
Jumping, running FAST, charging through every event that presents itself.
He is super smart, educated.
All for God.
ALL FOR GOD.
>insert shedding of tears<
Did I mention I can be more emotional nowadays?
God: "it's not about you, Triann"
Hmmm...I've heard God say that to me before.
Several years ago - in regards to Emily.
I had a running, 'what am I supposed to learn from this?'
'Who am I supposed to be teaching about this?'
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!
Seriously.
An ugly, self-centered view of life.
And yet, God revealed this same truth to me about Daniel.
IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!!
It is about me
only in the context of God blessing me with two very unique, amazing children.
He has a special plan for my kiddos.
They are in my earthly care.
A huge responsibility.
But GOD has their hearts.
They will be amazing adults.
I can clearly see Daniel as an incredible Youth Pastor, or Missionary (even though that makes me want to start biting my nails), or perhaps in a mainstream job that allows him to have the full-of-life impact on so many who wander in darkness.
God intends to use Daniel's reckless abandon for His glory.
That makes me smile.
It makes me more tolerant(this is a work in progress), more willing to re-direct rather than punish, more excited about diverting those attributes into positive avenues in lieu of simply expecting them to diminish over time.
I need to celebrate the wonderful, creative, adventure-filled being that Daniel is.
Whether he is four or twenty-four, he is Child of God and HE has plans for him...I am so thankful for the opportunity to watch him grow into that young man.
For now, I will enjoy watching the energy I only wish I had.
Experience the curiosity through the eyes of a four year old.
And listen to my husband when he says, "don't look!" as Daniel proceeds to do something heart-stopping.
What about the little ones in your life can you choose to cherish, rather than try and change?
Monday, March 29, 2010
Goodness!
OK. I have TOTALLY neglected my blog since switching over to CaringBridge...not my intent.
Things have been a LITTLE crazier than 'normal' here.
How is that possible?
If you have NOT been to my Caring Bridge site - it was CLEAR SCANS!! in February.
The events that have transpired since then include a job change for Eric, a move back 'home' to the NW, and the beginning of Homeschool for Emily. Chemo Brain and Homeschool?...still working out the kinks on that one ;)
But I have lots of support so far.
The kids are adjusting well in some areas, but having a tough go with the loss of routine and their own space.
Prayers as we try to get situated.
I will check back in sooner than later.
Triann
Things have been a LITTLE crazier than 'normal' here.
How is that possible?
If you have NOT been to my Caring Bridge site - it was CLEAR SCANS!! in February.
The events that have transpired since then include a job change for Eric, a move back 'home' to the NW, and the beginning of Homeschool for Emily. Chemo Brain and Homeschool?...still working out the kinks on that one ;)
But I have lots of support so far.
The kids are adjusting well in some areas, but having a tough go with the loss of routine and their own space.
Prayers as we try to get situated.
I will check back in sooner than later.
Triann
Friday, January 8, 2010
Happy Happy New Year
So HAPPY to be alive in 2010!
And thankful. And blessed =)
Best Christmas present of 2009?
Being 'home' with family. Another of my favorites were the blown glass ornaments that the kiddos made for me and Eric. Great idea Grandma and Grandpa Rose! I would post pics, but they are safe and sound at Mom and Dad's for the time being.
At some point I will post a picture of our awesome Hawaiian snowman- Daniel's idea for it to be Hawaiian (I'm certain that kid's gonna live there someday - it comes up a lot. He packs a bag and tells me he headed there to check on his houses that are being painted, etc. Yes, plural! I hope that means there is one for me too ;)
Em then suggested the hula skirt!
Too ironic - and hilarious!
Last year a friend of mine shared that her resolution for 2009 was to buy more jewelry for herself. I LOVED that idea - something very pampering and positive - compared to the 'I need to lose X', or 'organize Y'. I really didn't need to put pressure on myself with things like that, so I originally thought that my resolution was going to be to purchase myself a new pair of shoes every month. I am incredibly shoe-deficient...especially after our stint in San Diego.
Texas weather does require more than flip-flops.
Today being a prime example, as our low is supposed to be ZERO degrees with the windchill. UGH!
After much consideration I decided 'shoes' was simply too limiting, and while I do intend to purchase several pairs of shoes his year, I have broadened my resolution to purchasing something for myself every month.
Coffee at Starbucks doesn't count =)
This may seem strange to some, but I have an amazingly difficult time spending money on myself - heck, I cringe when I have to go grocery shopping! So this is a really big deal.
My angst is totally self-imposed. OK, perhaps some is residual from my childhood and having to search the town for toilet paper that was less than 25 cents a roll, even if we were completely out...love ya Dad! =)
Perhaps I'll share my 'me-gifts' here as an accountability...Hmmm. Will have to ponder that.
I am up in the middle of the night writing. I made dinner tonight and it absolutely wore me out! I missed my morning dose of chemo, hence the 'energy' to prepare dinner, but once I spent time in the kitchen and caught up on my meds I was nearing exhaustion!
I headed to bed around 7pm...Daniel woke up around 2am and here I am. Perhaps this is what it takes to post on my blog these days.
Hope to post again soon. I have several rough drafts I'm fussing with...
To bed again I go...my alarm is set to go off in an hour! Yikes! Wish me luck on a nap =)
Triann
And thankful. And blessed =)
Best Christmas present of 2009?
Being 'home' with family. Another of my favorites were the blown glass ornaments that the kiddos made for me and Eric. Great idea Grandma and Grandpa Rose! I would post pics, but they are safe and sound at Mom and Dad's for the time being.
At some point I will post a picture of our awesome Hawaiian snowman- Daniel's idea for it to be Hawaiian (I'm certain that kid's gonna live there someday - it comes up a lot. He packs a bag and tells me he headed there to check on his houses that are being painted, etc. Yes, plural! I hope that means there is one for me too ;)
Em then suggested the hula skirt!
Too ironic - and hilarious!
Last year a friend of mine shared that her resolution for 2009 was to buy more jewelry for herself. I LOVED that idea - something very pampering and positive - compared to the 'I need to lose X', or 'organize Y'. I really didn't need to put pressure on myself with things like that, so I originally thought that my resolution was going to be to purchase myself a new pair of shoes every month. I am incredibly shoe-deficient...especially after our stint in San Diego.
Texas weather does require more than flip-flops.
Today being a prime example, as our low is supposed to be ZERO degrees with the windchill. UGH!
After much consideration I decided 'shoes' was simply too limiting, and while I do intend to purchase several pairs of shoes his year, I have broadened my resolution to purchasing something for myself every month.
Coffee at Starbucks doesn't count =)
This may seem strange to some, but I have an amazingly difficult time spending money on myself - heck, I cringe when I have to go grocery shopping! So this is a really big deal.
My angst is totally self-imposed. OK, perhaps some is residual from my childhood and having to search the town for toilet paper that was less than 25 cents a roll, even if we were completely out...love ya Dad! =)
Perhaps I'll share my 'me-gifts' here as an accountability...Hmmm. Will have to ponder that.
I am up in the middle of the night writing. I made dinner tonight and it absolutely wore me out! I missed my morning dose of chemo, hence the 'energy' to prepare dinner, but once I spent time in the kitchen and caught up on my meds I was nearing exhaustion!
I headed to bed around 7pm...Daniel woke up around 2am and here I am. Perhaps this is what it takes to post on my blog these days.
Hope to post again soon. I have several rough drafts I'm fussing with...
To bed again I go...my alarm is set to go off in an hour! Yikes! Wish me luck on a nap =)
Triann
Saturday, December 5, 2009
I have to brag...and tell on myself.
FYI - my main cancer fighting journal has been moved to www.caringbridge.org/visit/triannbenson
Now that we have 'business' out of the way...
Isn't my new background totally cute??
The BEST part?
I figured out how to import the template all by myself!!
Yea me!
Typically I simply wait until Eric can do it for me, but Patience isn't my middle name - nor is it my first - THANK YOU Mom and Dad!!
Seriously, that was an option.
God knew I couldn't do justice to such a name. Ha!
Now for the telling on myself...
The lamp in the kids' room hasn't been working, so I thought I would investigate.
It appeared that the piece that the light-bulb screwed into was a little loose.
So, like an IDIOT, I thought I would simply adjust it. Possibly the first time I have electrocuted myself in adult life - or ever. I still have goose bumps.
Perhaps this is one of those times I should use my emergency adrenalin.
Probably not.
I'll ask the doctor at my next visit...he'll just love that, I'm sure.
I NEVER want to experience a shock like that again!
Glad it was me and not one of the kids. Ugh.
Actually, I'm wondering the difference between shock and electrocution.
Is it voltage? Or how much your head tingles?
Christmas fun and craziness for today:
Santa with the kids. (Emily's therapy place offers a sign-up time to go see Santa with their siblings so you don't have to wait in line. Thought it might be nice to take advantage of...)
Cookie Exchange at a dear friend's house.
Dinner with new friends.
Bible Study at church -more friends!
How great is that??
All things I am looking forward to - must schedule in a nap though!
And perhaps get off the computer and get into the shower.
By the way...it is FREEZING here!
How is it possible for the temperature to go DOWN when the sun comes UP?
Current temperature? 28 degrees!
I need to find my gloves. Mom and Dad sent coats just in time!
I need to figure in time to shop for gloves for Daniel. He has outgrown his mittens and is currently wearing a spare pair of Emily's gloves. Don't tell him that. They are solid black, but still...
I'm thinking the stretchy $1 kind from Target...perhaps I can splurge and buy the CARS or Spiderman ones for $4.99. You know we will most likely require more than one set to get through the winter with him. Playgrounds across Plano will be sporting lonely gloves, I can see it now. We'll have to see what they have when I get there.
Plus, both kids have birthday parties to attend this week. One on Sunday and one on Wednesday.
God does provide. The week of Thanksgiving when I checked out at Target, the little coupon thing that spit out of the machine was for a $20 gift card for new or transferred prescriptions! Well, all of our meds are already at Target. Except one. However, I had to wait for Eric to go to the doctor to get the written script (his doctor's rule). In the meantime, I cleaned out my purse and put the coupon in a 'safe place'. Read: I lost it!! I prayed all day yesterday that I would find it.
And I did! In a most unlikely place, of course.
How awesome is God?
SMALL thing for Him, BIG thing for us.
Extremely thankful we still have an RX that isn't at Target and especially thankful that I will get $20 to use at Target!!
For those of you in other areas of the country, our Targets are Super Targets, which means they also carry groceries. Very nice! Think Fred Meyer, but bigger.
OK, enough yakking at you. Have a blessed day and stay warm!
Perhaps curl up with Hot Cocoa and watch Elf.
Think I can fit that in today? Didn't think so...maybe tomorrow.
Triann
Now that we have 'business' out of the way...
Isn't my new background totally cute??
The BEST part?
I figured out how to import the template all by myself!!
Yea me!
Typically I simply wait until Eric can do it for me, but Patience isn't my middle name - nor is it my first - THANK YOU Mom and Dad!!
Seriously, that was an option.
God knew I couldn't do justice to such a name. Ha!
Now for the telling on myself...
The lamp in the kids' room hasn't been working, so I thought I would investigate.
It appeared that the piece that the light-bulb screwed into was a little loose.
So, like an IDIOT, I thought I would simply adjust it. Possibly the first time I have electrocuted myself in adult life - or ever. I still have goose bumps.
Perhaps this is one of those times I should use my emergency adrenalin.
Probably not.
I'll ask the doctor at my next visit...he'll just love that, I'm sure.
I NEVER want to experience a shock like that again!
Glad it was me and not one of the kids. Ugh.
Actually, I'm wondering the difference between shock and electrocution.
Is it voltage? Or how much your head tingles?
Christmas fun and craziness for today:
Santa with the kids. (Emily's therapy place offers a sign-up time to go see Santa with their siblings so you don't have to wait in line. Thought it might be nice to take advantage of...)
Cookie Exchange at a dear friend's house.
Dinner with new friends.
Bible Study at church -more friends!
How great is that??
All things I am looking forward to - must schedule in a nap though!
And perhaps get off the computer and get into the shower.
By the way...it is FREEZING here!
How is it possible for the temperature to go DOWN when the sun comes UP?
Current temperature? 28 degrees!
I need to find my gloves. Mom and Dad sent coats just in time!
I need to figure in time to shop for gloves for Daniel. He has outgrown his mittens and is currently wearing a spare pair of Emily's gloves. Don't tell him that. They are solid black, but still...
I'm thinking the stretchy $1 kind from Target...perhaps I can splurge and buy the CARS or Spiderman ones for $4.99. You know we will most likely require more than one set to get through the winter with him. Playgrounds across Plano will be sporting lonely gloves, I can see it now. We'll have to see what they have when I get there.
Plus, both kids have birthday parties to attend this week. One on Sunday and one on Wednesday.
God does provide. The week of Thanksgiving when I checked out at Target, the little coupon thing that spit out of the machine was for a $20 gift card for new or transferred prescriptions! Well, all of our meds are already at Target. Except one. However, I had to wait for Eric to go to the doctor to get the written script (his doctor's rule). In the meantime, I cleaned out my purse and put the coupon in a 'safe place'. Read: I lost it!! I prayed all day yesterday that I would find it.
And I did! In a most unlikely place, of course.
How awesome is God?
SMALL thing for Him, BIG thing for us.
Extremely thankful we still have an RX that isn't at Target and especially thankful that I will get $20 to use at Target!!
For those of you in other areas of the country, our Targets are Super Targets, which means they also carry groceries. Very nice! Think Fred Meyer, but bigger.
OK, enough yakking at you. Have a blessed day and stay warm!
Perhaps curl up with Hot Cocoa and watch Elf.
Think I can fit that in today? Didn't think so...maybe tomorrow.
Triann
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving!!
I have SO much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. First of all - I'm still here!
My family, my friends, my husband has a job, kids are in good schools, and the list goes on.
We had great friends in town for Thanksgiving - missing them the moment they pulled out of the driveway!
Then a second Thanksgiving with an amazing 'adopted' family and friends in Tyler.
Well, we are FINALLY over whatever crud it was that took hold of our household for most of September and October! Yea God!
Emily has had numerous appointments in Fort Worth. It has been tough emotionally and physically draining as well. She is doing OK overall, but we have a lot headed our way I believe. Please keep Em in your prayers.
I have decided to go back over to the Caringbridge site to keep everyone updated on my fight against Adrenal Cancer. Primarily because I have heard feedback that people would like to have the notifications sent to their inboxes.
You can follow my 'journey' at www.caringbridge.org/visit/triannbenson and sign up for updates.
I will keep this site up as well, but have more family stuff and less cancer stuff.
Triann
My family, my friends, my husband has a job, kids are in good schools, and the list goes on.
We had great friends in town for Thanksgiving - missing them the moment they pulled out of the driveway!
Then a second Thanksgiving with an amazing 'adopted' family and friends in Tyler.
Well, we are FINALLY over whatever crud it was that took hold of our household for most of September and October! Yea God!
Emily has had numerous appointments in Fort Worth. It has been tough emotionally and physically draining as well. She is doing OK overall, but we have a lot headed our way I believe. Please keep Em in your prayers.
I have decided to go back over to the Caringbridge site to keep everyone updated on my fight against Adrenal Cancer. Primarily because I have heard feedback that people would like to have the notifications sent to their inboxes.
You can follow my 'journey' at www.caringbridge.org/visit/triannbenson and sign up for updates.
I will keep this site up as well, but have more family stuff and less cancer stuff.
Triann
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Prayers Please...
I know nearly everyone, everywhere is sick right about now!
It's tough when it hits home, though! Aches, chills, fevers, coughing, ugh!
We are all suffering to some extent. Both kids will be out of school for the week. The bright side is, the state of my house is MUCH worse than prior to the family being down - for five days now - which means it must not have been as bad as I thought it was beforehand ;)
Hubby seemed to be the least affected and I so appreciated the fact that he used the energy he did have to take over meals, etc for everybody! He even made a new batch of J-ello before he left this morning! Go Eric!
That being said...I recommend you check your back-stock of things like boxed J-ello, Toilet Paper, Kleenex, etc. I am now realizing that I was horribly low on all fronts. I am hoping we make it through the day till Eric get's home on the half a roll of toilet paper and half a box of Kleenex and one small box of J-ello. I think sometimes it doesn't pay to shop at Costco. I buy, what, 48 rolls of toilet paper at a time? I stash half in each bathroom, so I am always 'assuming' that the other bathroom must have more TP. Um. Wrong. And a bad week to be wrong! Ugh...
If only I had realized that yesterday when Eric was still home helping us out! It's humorous until we truly run out! =)
Enough about J-ello and Toilet paper...
Eric is loving his job.
Emily is excelling in so many areas of school - in fact her math scores just sky rocketed from the last time she was tested. Her teacher is a perfect fit for her.
I am thrilled that we are at the 'new' school that had me so stressed. =)
Daniel LOVES school! And he has such great teachers. We are so blessed to have him in such a terrific pre-school!
And I'm still here =)
TTFN!
Triann
It's tough when it hits home, though! Aches, chills, fevers, coughing, ugh!
We are all suffering to some extent. Both kids will be out of school for the week. The bright side is, the state of my house is MUCH worse than prior to the family being down - for five days now - which means it must not have been as bad as I thought it was beforehand ;)
Hubby seemed to be the least affected and I so appreciated the fact that he used the energy he did have to take over meals, etc for everybody! He even made a new batch of J-ello before he left this morning! Go Eric!
That being said...I recommend you check your back-stock of things like boxed J-ello, Toilet Paper, Kleenex, etc. I am now realizing that I was horribly low on all fronts. I am hoping we make it through the day till Eric get's home on the half a roll of toilet paper and half a box of Kleenex and one small box of J-ello. I think sometimes it doesn't pay to shop at Costco. I buy, what, 48 rolls of toilet paper at a time? I stash half in each bathroom, so I am always 'assuming' that the other bathroom must have more TP. Um. Wrong. And a bad week to be wrong! Ugh...
If only I had realized that yesterday when Eric was still home helping us out! It's humorous until we truly run out! =)
Enough about J-ello and Toilet paper...
Eric is loving his job.
Emily is excelling in so many areas of school - in fact her math scores just sky rocketed from the last time she was tested. Her teacher is a perfect fit for her.
I am thrilled that we are at the 'new' school that had me so stressed. =)
Daniel LOVES school! And he has such great teachers. We are so blessed to have him in such a terrific pre-school!
And I'm still here =)
TTFN!
Triann
Friday, October 2, 2009
CELEBRATE!!!
So many things to celebrate and be thankful for!
It's gonna be a short post today because I have been sick for two weeks (cold/sinus stuff on top of my 'normal' sick)
However...I couldn't let the 30th of September go by unnoticed!!
Wednesday, September 30th, Eric and I celebrated 14 years of marriage!
It was also the one-year 'anniversary' of being admitted into the hospital and finding out I had a ginormous tumor. Some may think that's nothing to celebrate, but it was truly a miracle that it was discovered as soon as it was. My chances of being here awhile are increased significantly because of that!
Prayers that the cancer continues to stay away with the chemo and that I can tolerate the chemo...having a tough time with that one.
Overall we have much to sing praises about!
Thank you for being on this journey with us. =)
Triann
It's gonna be a short post today because I have been sick for two weeks (cold/sinus stuff on top of my 'normal' sick)
However...I couldn't let the 30th of September go by unnoticed!!
Wednesday, September 30th, Eric and I celebrated 14 years of marriage!
It was also the one-year 'anniversary' of being admitted into the hospital and finding out I had a ginormous tumor. Some may think that's nothing to celebrate, but it was truly a miracle that it was discovered as soon as it was. My chances of being here awhile are increased significantly because of that!
Prayers that the cancer continues to stay away with the chemo and that I can tolerate the chemo...having a tough time with that one.
Overall we have much to sing praises about!
Thank you for being on this journey with us. =)
Triann
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Two Weddings and A Funeral
I am laughing at myself, by myself...so I had to share. The kids just wouldn't appreciate this!
I just sent an e-mail to a friend from long ago and then read of another friends' anniversary today...the two together got me thinking about the TWO weddings Eric and I were very late to - I know for certain who the one wedding was for, but cannot remember the other - will have to get Eric's input on that.
And then there was that funeral...but I am getting ahead of myself!
On all three occasions it was a matter of "Which church?" "oh, OK, that one" Ya. so NOT the right church!! UGH. Nor the right Funeral Home!!
The weddings we figured out before leaving our vehicle. One because, as we were doing our s-l-o-w drive-by, the wedding party and all the other wedding guests were seated at the reception, looking out of the big glass windows wondering 'who the heck missed the wedding?'
Oh dear me!
The funeral was the kicker though!
Eric used to work for a friend in construction in HS and dangled off of many a building in Vancouver...well, after being certain that he and his mother's stories were straight about what funeral home he fell off of, we headed that way.
However, we were not just attending this funeral, Eric was in charge of the music. We raced to the funeral home, saw a car out front (a light turquoise, mind you) that was the exact car his Aunt had been driving, pulled to a stop and ran in...things were already getting started and he shoved the CD into the hands of the person in charge and said they needed to play this! The man looked confused, but took it anyway...we headed to the chapel. On the way in someone handed us a bulletin (I know that's not what it's called, but I can't think of the word) but you don't read those until you are seated, right? All of the sudden I stop in my tracks in full panic. A COFFIN! Jody PROMISED me there would NOT be an open casket! And there it was - you HAD to go past the body to get to a seat! I turn around to head out and Eric follows...in the foyer I look down at the 'bulletin' and realize that this is NOT the person we are supposed to be giving our last respects to! Dang! Now we have to quickly march back into the funeral directors office, urgently request the CD back that we insisted he play and race around downtown Vancouver until we find the correct Chapel. Also, with the same turquoise vehicle parked out front!! So not our fault!
I hope someone else finds this funny!
I just sent an e-mail to a friend from long ago and then read of another friends' anniversary today...the two together got me thinking about the TWO weddings Eric and I were very late to - I know for certain who the one wedding was for, but cannot remember the other - will have to get Eric's input on that.
And then there was that funeral...but I am getting ahead of myself!
On all three occasions it was a matter of "Which church?" "oh, OK, that one" Ya. so NOT the right church!! UGH. Nor the right Funeral Home!!
The weddings we figured out before leaving our vehicle. One because, as we were doing our s-l-o-w drive-by, the wedding party and all the other wedding guests were seated at the reception, looking out of the big glass windows wondering 'who the heck missed the wedding?'
Oh dear me!
The funeral was the kicker though!
Eric used to work for a friend in construction in HS and dangled off of many a building in Vancouver...well, after being certain that he and his mother's stories were straight about what funeral home he fell off of, we headed that way.
However, we were not just attending this funeral, Eric was in charge of the music. We raced to the funeral home, saw a car out front (a light turquoise, mind you) that was the exact car his Aunt had been driving, pulled to a stop and ran in...things were already getting started and he shoved the CD into the hands of the person in charge and said they needed to play this! The man looked confused, but took it anyway...we headed to the chapel. On the way in someone handed us a bulletin (I know that's not what it's called, but I can't think of the word) but you don't read those until you are seated, right? All of the sudden I stop in my tracks in full panic. A COFFIN! Jody PROMISED me there would NOT be an open casket! And there it was - you HAD to go past the body to get to a seat! I turn around to head out and Eric follows...in the foyer I look down at the 'bulletin' and realize that this is NOT the person we are supposed to be giving our last respects to! Dang! Now we have to quickly march back into the funeral directors office, urgently request the CD back that we insisted he play and race around downtown Vancouver until we find the correct Chapel. Also, with the same turquoise vehicle parked out front!! So not our fault!
I hope someone else finds this funny!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
THANK YOU!!
SO...I am trying to get a few things unpacked around here and am finding Thank You notes that have been written and not mailed, lists of thanks you's to be written, etc.
Ugh! I have the best of intentions.
I want to take this opportunity to say
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!
to everyone that has helped us pack, unpack, fold clothes, watched the kids, brought us dinner, sent a card, helped us financially, given gifts to the children, taken them on playdates, done crafts with them, prayed for us, lent an ear to listen, brought me Starbucks, cleaned my kitchen, or anything else to lift our spirits and help us in tangible ways. You have ALL been blessings to us and your kindness has meant the world to us.
I am truly sorry if you have not felt appreciated - believe me, you are!
Triann, Eric, Emily, and Daniel
Ugh! I have the best of intentions.
I want to take this opportunity to say
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!
to everyone that has helped us pack, unpack, fold clothes, watched the kids, brought us dinner, sent a card, helped us financially, given gifts to the children, taken them on playdates, done crafts with them, prayed for us, lent an ear to listen, brought me Starbucks, cleaned my kitchen, or anything else to lift our spirits and help us in tangible ways. You have ALL been blessings to us and your kindness has meant the world to us.
I am truly sorry if you have not felt appreciated - believe me, you are!
Triann, Eric, Emily, and Daniel
Happy Birthday to Me!
Ok...I'm a few days late in this post, but I have been down most of the week.
I have never been so happy to be older!!
Battling cancer sure changes ones view of birthdays!
Really any event or non-event. I want to take it all in and many days I just can't. Then I feel guilty for missing the moments and try to make it up by pushing too hard. (Catalina, you know this one too well don't you??)
Anyway... I am thrilled to be here to experience 35 and I hope to continue experiencing the joys of getting older for decades to come!
My hubby (and kiddos) COMPLETELY spoiled me this year! I wish I had felt better - we are going to have a do-over on the cake once I am up to it =)
On another note, Daniel is having HUGE separation anxiety issues with going back to school and having a new sitter. And it is looking like we will be looking - again - for another sitter. Which means more interviews - it is SO draining! please pray for us on this one!
I have been down almost a week and it is getting old!
I *need* to get my house unpacked, organized, and de-cluttered ASAP. Not because I feel like I 'should", but because I know it would be more calming for myself and my family. That is a number one priority once I feel better. One room at a time...
If I keep watching 'Clean House' I am hopeful I can let go of more and more stuff that we truly don't need. Great homework for those of us with too much stuff!
Fall is my FAVORITE season! I have already started making things with canned pumpkin! And enjoying my pumpkin candle! It is time to bat my eyes and ask Eric to dig out my fall decorations! =)
TTFN!
Triann
I have never been so happy to be older!!
Battling cancer sure changes ones view of birthdays!
Really any event or non-event. I want to take it all in and many days I just can't. Then I feel guilty for missing the moments and try to make it up by pushing too hard. (Catalina, you know this one too well don't you??)
Anyway... I am thrilled to be here to experience 35 and I hope to continue experiencing the joys of getting older for decades to come!
My hubby (and kiddos) COMPLETELY spoiled me this year! I wish I had felt better - we are going to have a do-over on the cake once I am up to it =)
On another note, Daniel is having HUGE separation anxiety issues with going back to school and having a new sitter. And it is looking like we will be looking - again - for another sitter. Which means more interviews - it is SO draining! please pray for us on this one!
I have been down almost a week and it is getting old!
I *need* to get my house unpacked, organized, and de-cluttered ASAP. Not because I feel like I 'should", but because I know it would be more calming for myself and my family. That is a number one priority once I feel better. One room at a time...
If I keep watching 'Clean House' I am hopeful I can let go of more and more stuff that we truly don't need. Great homework for those of us with too much stuff!
Fall is my FAVORITE season! I have already started making things with canned pumpkin! And enjoying my pumpkin candle! It is time to bat my eyes and ask Eric to dig out my fall decorations! =)
TTFN!
Triann
Saturday, September 5, 2009
I Cried, I Laughed...
I know that's not how the saying goes, but that's how my life went last week.
The Bible assures us that God works all things together for good for those who love Him, but it still always AMAZES me how God does that...
Eric's motorcycle was totaled by insurance.(blog more on that later)
Then, when I didn't have anything pressing to worry about I stressed for TWO HOURS about whether or not I was being a good steward of of our money by buying the pre-sliced cheese rather than the brick!
(Tillamook, of course. Praise the Lord at least I can get cheese from home!)
After a call to a girlfriend and a reality check, I added the sliced cheese to my mini list for Costco. When I got there.. you know what? There was an 80 cent difference in price. EIGHTY CENTS! Absolutely not worth my anguish over it and DEFINITELY worth the price. Now...some of you may be saying, 'why in the world does she need sliced cheese and why is it that big of a deal?' Well...it's not just about having the energy to slice the cheese. It's washing the knife and board and getting up again and again for the requests of another slice. It's about the fact that the kids can get their own cheese!! And I don't even have to get up when I am not feeling well. It is a BIG deal in the household where cheese is a staple. I think God is OK with my sliced cheese purchase =)
I even got out of Costco for UNDER $24! That should be on my miracle list for this week too. Not only the money I spent, but what I got for that money... 2lbs of really good sliced cheese, 60 sticks of string cheese, 2 loaves of bread, one gallon of whole milk, 40 small flour tortillas, and 12 HUGE muffins (read: individual chocolate cakes - I was needing a chocolate fix the other night and no way to satisfy it. I now have many 'little cakes', individually wrapped and frozen for when the need arises!)
Anyway...I am impressed with myself!
Now to the laughing and crying portion of my story.
We had just found out that the bike was totaled. Eric and I were carpooling - AGAIN - and I arrive to pick Eric up from work Wednesday evening when the air conditioner STOPS working! (enter the waterworks. NOT handling this well. Or should I say, freely expressing my emotions via my tear ducts?)
Perhaps some of you are thinking, 'so? roll down the windows'. Um, NO. Not when it is still in the upper 90's and your daughter has a heat intolerance. Even going 70 mph down the freeway (which is the speed limit here) it was simply loud, HOT air and not a cooling option at all.
So...into the shop it goes.
I debate on whether this was desperation here or faith. We had ABSOLUTELY no money to fix it. NONE. But..what were the options?? Perhaps it was as simple as needing more freon. (but I knew then it wasn't going to be that simple)
4 hours into the diagnostic stage and our grand total for non-optional items on the van??? $3700. YIKES!!
This is where the laughing comes in - or thereabouts...
I spent TWO HOURS on Tuesday stressing about an 80 cent difference in cheese and now I have $3700 worth of repairs needed on the van. I think God was enjoying this too, really. Like, 'Triann, spend the money on the cheese that makes your life easier right now and we'll tackle the bigger things together, OK?'
Another MIRACLE was that I didn't cry at all Thursday. I think I was somewhat 'pre-pared' for the fact that it wasn't going to be good news.
There was a laundry list of items, including the compressor, cooling fan, etc for the AC to work again ($2600) and the brakes - which we already knew were an issue, but were kind of ignoring (the whole money thing), plus power steering issues, etc. Now, before you think we drive a junker car and should just replace it...we have a mini-van I love! It is a 2003 Honda Odyssey. Perfect for the family and all of Emily's medical equipment (wheelchair, mobile stander, etc) We have put 135,000 miles on it and we intend to drive until we can afford a conversion van (or until one just shows up in our driveway =) We purchased the van with the expectation of driving well past the 200,000 mile mark. We have sold several Hondas throughout our married life with over 250,000 miles on them and they were still great cars. Anyway...the money we are investing in repairs far outweigh trying to go down another path. Am I really rationalizing with people I may not even know? I am going to require more counseling for this ;)
Back to my story.
Eric has a very small 'silent' partner interest in a business he helped put together when Emily was a toddler. Typically, he would get a payout at the end of the year. Because of our situation, our dear friend offered to give him an advance on his earnings to help pay for the repairs. GOD ROCKS!!!
Our AC repair was going to be $2600. At this point we have ZERO vehicles and ZERO dollars. Not really workin' for us.
Eric's advance was $2200! REALLY close, but still $400 shy of what we needed. What to do??
I called the shop and spoke with the gentleman who had been helping us and basically said - here's what I've got. I understand that brakes are also a high priority, but I HAVE to have a vehicle and AC takes top spot at the moment. There was a lot more rambling, but I'll spare you.
Now, had this been December, we could have gone with a different order for our top five - but not early September in Texas!!
He puts me on hold and comes back and says they can do the job for $2295. AWESOME! Still nearly $100 short, but a lot closer to the money we had *pending* in the bank. He said, "I actually was able to bring it down to $3010, but $2295 sounds better"
My reply was to let him know I would call my folks and beg them for the other $100 I needed to get my van back on the road for the moment.
The next words out of his mouth were "don't do anything yet - I'll call you back in fifteen minutes"
I want to insert that I wouldn't actually have to beg, I just REALLY didn't want to call my folks and ask for MORE help. They buy the kids clothes and shoes, and help out in numerous ways. I was dreading it. Mainly because it makes me feel icky, not because I thought I would have to grovel.
Less than five minutes later he calls me back and says, "I'm about to be your new best friend, how does $2175 sound?"
Sounds like the miracle we have been praying for!!
And I responded with something along those lines in addition to profuse thank yous. Then he says, "I just HATE having to ask my parents for money, I didn't want you to have to do that" Awesome! Obviously God knew the words I needed to speak, because normally I wouldn't have wanted to admit that either. I am certain with the economy and lay-offs right now they have all sorts of negotiating and sob stories coming in. I really wasn't trying to barter anything, I was just giving the guy the truth - here's what I've got. And I didn't even attempt to go into our saga.
Whether this young man is a Christian or not, God used him to bless our family.
How AWESOME is that??
I called Eric to tell him the good news and proudly told him "I didn't even have to cry!" Which is hilarious. One of my earlier posts I talk about how I was NEVER a crier. Now I'm a cry-baby.
Lunch while waiting for car diagnostics: $3.78
Ac Repair Estimate:$2600
Not crying about it: Priceless
Couldn't help myself! =)
If you think this is the end of our crazy week, you haven't been following us long!
Stay tuned for more exciting episodes in the Benson's life of Faith and Drama!
The Bible assures us that God works all things together for good for those who love Him, but it still always AMAZES me how God does that...
Eric's motorcycle was totaled by insurance.(blog more on that later)
Then, when I didn't have anything pressing to worry about I stressed for TWO HOURS about whether or not I was being a good steward of of our money by buying the pre-sliced cheese rather than the brick!
(Tillamook, of course. Praise the Lord at least I can get cheese from home!)
After a call to a girlfriend and a reality check, I added the sliced cheese to my mini list for Costco. When I got there.. you know what? There was an 80 cent difference in price. EIGHTY CENTS! Absolutely not worth my anguish over it and DEFINITELY worth the price. Now...some of you may be saying, 'why in the world does she need sliced cheese and why is it that big of a deal?' Well...it's not just about having the energy to slice the cheese. It's washing the knife and board and getting up again and again for the requests of another slice. It's about the fact that the kids can get their own cheese!! And I don't even have to get up when I am not feeling well. It is a BIG deal in the household where cheese is a staple. I think God is OK with my sliced cheese purchase =)
I even got out of Costco for UNDER $24! That should be on my miracle list for this week too. Not only the money I spent, but what I got for that money... 2lbs of really good sliced cheese, 60 sticks of string cheese, 2 loaves of bread, one gallon of whole milk, 40 small flour tortillas, and 12 HUGE muffins (read: individual chocolate cakes - I was needing a chocolate fix the other night and no way to satisfy it. I now have many 'little cakes', individually wrapped and frozen for when the need arises!)
Anyway...I am impressed with myself!
Now to the laughing and crying portion of my story.
We had just found out that the bike was totaled. Eric and I were carpooling - AGAIN - and I arrive to pick Eric up from work Wednesday evening when the air conditioner STOPS working! (enter the waterworks. NOT handling this well. Or should I say, freely expressing my emotions via my tear ducts?)
Perhaps some of you are thinking, 'so? roll down the windows'. Um, NO. Not when it is still in the upper 90's and your daughter has a heat intolerance. Even going 70 mph down the freeway (which is the speed limit here) it was simply loud, HOT air and not a cooling option at all.
So...into the shop it goes.
I debate on whether this was desperation here or faith. We had ABSOLUTELY no money to fix it. NONE. But..what were the options?? Perhaps it was as simple as needing more freon. (but I knew then it wasn't going to be that simple)
4 hours into the diagnostic stage and our grand total for non-optional items on the van??? $3700. YIKES!!
This is where the laughing comes in - or thereabouts...
I spent TWO HOURS on Tuesday stressing about an 80 cent difference in cheese and now I have $3700 worth of repairs needed on the van. I think God was enjoying this too, really. Like, 'Triann, spend the money on the cheese that makes your life easier right now and we'll tackle the bigger things together, OK?'
Another MIRACLE was that I didn't cry at all Thursday. I think I was somewhat 'pre-pared' for the fact that it wasn't going to be good news.
There was a laundry list of items, including the compressor, cooling fan, etc for the AC to work again ($2600) and the brakes - which we already knew were an issue, but were kind of ignoring (the whole money thing), plus power steering issues, etc. Now, before you think we drive a junker car and should just replace it...we have a mini-van I love! It is a 2003 Honda Odyssey. Perfect for the family and all of Emily's medical equipment (wheelchair, mobile stander, etc) We have put 135,000 miles on it and we intend to drive until we can afford a conversion van (or until one just shows up in our driveway =) We purchased the van with the expectation of driving well past the 200,000 mile mark. We have sold several Hondas throughout our married life with over 250,000 miles on them and they were still great cars. Anyway...the money we are investing in repairs far outweigh trying to go down another path. Am I really rationalizing with people I may not even know? I am going to require more counseling for this ;)
Back to my story.
Eric has a very small 'silent' partner interest in a business he helped put together when Emily was a toddler. Typically, he would get a payout at the end of the year. Because of our situation, our dear friend offered to give him an advance on his earnings to help pay for the repairs. GOD ROCKS!!!
Our AC repair was going to be $2600. At this point we have ZERO vehicles and ZERO dollars. Not really workin' for us.
Eric's advance was $2200! REALLY close, but still $400 shy of what we needed. What to do??
I called the shop and spoke with the gentleman who had been helping us and basically said - here's what I've got. I understand that brakes are also a high priority, but I HAVE to have a vehicle and AC takes top spot at the moment. There was a lot more rambling, but I'll spare you.
Now, had this been December, we could have gone with a different order for our top five - but not early September in Texas!!
He puts me on hold and comes back and says they can do the job for $2295. AWESOME! Still nearly $100 short, but a lot closer to the money we had *pending* in the bank. He said, "I actually was able to bring it down to $3010, but $2295 sounds better"
My reply was to let him know I would call my folks and beg them for the other $100 I needed to get my van back on the road for the moment.
The next words out of his mouth were "don't do anything yet - I'll call you back in fifteen minutes"
I want to insert that I wouldn't actually have to beg, I just REALLY didn't want to call my folks and ask for MORE help. They buy the kids clothes and shoes, and help out in numerous ways. I was dreading it. Mainly because it makes me feel icky, not because I thought I would have to grovel.
Less than five minutes later he calls me back and says, "I'm about to be your new best friend, how does $2175 sound?"
Sounds like the miracle we have been praying for!!
And I responded with something along those lines in addition to profuse thank yous. Then he says, "I just HATE having to ask my parents for money, I didn't want you to have to do that" Awesome! Obviously God knew the words I needed to speak, because normally I wouldn't have wanted to admit that either. I am certain with the economy and lay-offs right now they have all sorts of negotiating and sob stories coming in. I really wasn't trying to barter anything, I was just giving the guy the truth - here's what I've got. And I didn't even attempt to go into our saga.
Whether this young man is a Christian or not, God used him to bless our family.
How AWESOME is that??
I called Eric to tell him the good news and proudly told him "I didn't even have to cry!" Which is hilarious. One of my earlier posts I talk about how I was NEVER a crier. Now I'm a cry-baby.
Lunch while waiting for car diagnostics: $3.78
Ac Repair Estimate:$2600
Not crying about it: Priceless
Couldn't help myself! =)
If you think this is the end of our crazy week, you haven't been following us long!
Stay tuned for more exciting episodes in the Benson's life of Faith and Drama!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
And now... back to the Cancer Report...
Nothing new to report...that's good, right? =)
Daniel starts pre-school next week and I CANNOT wait! 2 days of rest a week sounds amazing.
I am doing better with getting my pills in, but again, the more pills, the more nausea, the more fatigue.
Emily having to get up before daylight to get on the bus is insane and not helping matters, but she is loving school and that is giving me a break once I have her dressed, fed, medicated, and off to school!
Eric and I are back to carpooling for the time being while his bike is in the shop - will give you an update on that when I have one.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for your continued Prayers and Support.
My next blood draw will be around November 1st and we will see where my Mitotane and steroid levels are.
I'm certain you will hear from me before then though!
Triann
Daniel starts pre-school next week and I CANNOT wait! 2 days of rest a week sounds amazing.
I am doing better with getting my pills in, but again, the more pills, the more nausea, the more fatigue.
Emily having to get up before daylight to get on the bus is insane and not helping matters, but she is loving school and that is giving me a break once I have her dressed, fed, medicated, and off to school!
Eric and I are back to carpooling for the time being while his bike is in the shop - will give you an update on that when I have one.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for your continued Prayers and Support.
My next blood draw will be around November 1st and we will see where my Mitotane and steroid levels are.
I'm certain you will hear from me before then though!
Triann
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Are We Under Attack??
Spiritual, that is...
A wise friend says 'no'. And I am inclined to agree with her.
Eric was in a Motorcycle accident Friday morning. He walked away, THANK YOU LORD! He has some good scrapes on his wrists (as shown) from where his summer gloves didn't overlap his jacket - he bought a new pair of summer gloves when he went to the shop to pick up his bike! His shoulders and neck are sore from rolling down the road (ya think?), but his gear took the brunt of it, as it should, and he was able to get his legs out from under his bike as he went down. AND no one ran him over. AND he wasn't on the freeway!
ALL great things to be thankful for.
Take a look at that helmet and imagine what his face *would have* looked like, had he not been wearing it! His jacket and pants are scratched up, but still wearable. His bike is basically OK, The boxes are broken and need to be replaced and he *obviously* will need a new helmet, but the thing that really matters is that he is still here with us!
He is really sad about the watch. It was a gift from me I brought back from Hawaii 7 yrs a go. I think I will send it in to Fossil and see if there is any way they can repair it...
That my hubby is still here and my kids still have their dad - AWESOME!
However...I was an emotional wreck! Ever since we moved to Dallas I hear myself repeating 'I am not a crier'. Dang it! I think now I am. I never USED to be a crier, but my coping capabilities have gone down hill in the last year! Could it be that I am missing an adrenal gland??? I am certain that is part if it, but definitely not all of it!
My dear friend shared that Eric's accident was just the 'one more thing' in our long list of 'things' that we are going through. If we were 'Family Average', it might still be upsetting, but it wouldn't have shaken my world like it did. I think she is right. I mean, good grief, was there any other mom at packet pick up (Friday morning, shortly after my phone call with Eric) that when the school couldn't locate their child's folder and then was told they didn't think supplies could still be purchased, burst into tears? Doubtful. =) Those poor volunteers. I'm not sure they knew what to do with me. GREAT first impression. LOL!
THIS is why I can't say I never cry any longer.
It really bugs me. But perhaps that's another post as well as a year of therapy...
For those of you looking for an amazing devotional book, you have to pick up "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. For everyone else, pick it up anyway. It has been great. Just what I need, and I know it would bless you too!
Here is a portion of Friday's devotional...
..."You are walking along the path I have chosen for you. It is both a privileged and perilous way: experiencing MY glorious presence and heralding that reality to others. Do not worry about what others think of you. Stay on the Path of Life with Me. Trust Me wholeheartedly, letting my Spirit fill you with Joy and Peace."...
1Kings 8:23
"O, Lord, God of Israel, there is no God like you in heaven above or on earth below - You who keep Your covenant of love with your servants who continue wholeheartedly in Your way"
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Checking In
Well, both sets of Grandparents have been to visit and that was wonderful.
Now we are getting ready for school. I feel ready and not ready.
I am looking forward to the rest I will get and the efficiency of my errands when I go by myself!
No more news from MD Anderson, so I guess that means all is well...
My biggest issue right now is extreme fatigue. I am truly thankful my GI 'hysteria' has calmed down since they back me down to 10 chemo pills/day. Not eliminated, but bearable.
I will be starting a Bible Study on Hope with a friend of mine after school starts and am looking forward to more insight on the matter. =)
There is rumor I may have some friends visiting from the west coast this fall and I am SO very excited about that!
Pray all is well with my readers/blog followers/friends!
Triann
Now we are getting ready for school. I feel ready and not ready.
I am looking forward to the rest I will get and the efficiency of my errands when I go by myself!
No more news from MD Anderson, so I guess that means all is well...
My biggest issue right now is extreme fatigue. I am truly thankful my GI 'hysteria' has calmed down since they back me down to 10 chemo pills/day. Not eliminated, but bearable.
I will be starting a Bible Study on Hope with a friend of mine after school starts and am looking forward to more insight on the matter. =)
There is rumor I may have some friends visiting from the west coast this fall and I am SO very excited about that!
Pray all is well with my readers/blog followers/friends!
Triann
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Praise is in Order!!
Thank you EVERYONE who has prayed for us and supported us - in all sorts of ways.
I am THRILLED to report good scans!!!
A full report will be in next week and not all tests are back....but the oncologist said he would see me NEXT YEAR!! Six month check up - AWESOME!
God Rocks!
Tired, but thankful.
Will write more later.
Triann
I am THRILLED to report good scans!!!
A full report will be in next week and not all tests are back....but the oncologist said he would see me NEXT YEAR!! Six month check up - AWESOME!
God Rocks!
Tired, but thankful.
Will write more later.
Triann
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