Is it too early to be tired of being tired? I think yes.
But I promised a recap of events, so here it is.
September 30th - Eric and I were planning on celebrating our 13 years of marriage, but it ended up as a family event in the ER instead. I had been having severe pain in my right side and it was getting tough to breathe. After lab work at the doctor's office and an ultrasound that afternoon, the Dr called and said for me to head to the ER. That can't be good, can it? Nope.
I had both kids in tow and called and requested Eric take an early departure from work to meet me at the hospital. Earlier that day, while waiting for the doctor to come in and see me, I recollected an incident that may have contributed to my current pain. Sunday afternoon the kids and I were playing in their room when I laid down on my back and closed my eyes for a second - never a safe choice with 2 small children. My youngest, a very active two year-old, took that opportunity to pounce on me - right below the rib cage. Fast forward to Tuesday in the exam room contemplating the events and realizing that I really hadn't felt right since then. Loss of appetite, pain, etc. Hmmm...
After the MRI in the emergency room, plus more lab work, they finally came in to tell us what they had found. I was hoping it was a simple gall bladder issue - I don't really need one of those, right? But what the doctor told us, I could never have been prepared for. They had discovered a very large tumor on my adrenal gland and I would need to stay in the hospital until it was taken care of. One of the blessings was the 'pouncing event' from Sunday. Across the board the doctors felt that when my son jumped on me it caused the tumor to hemorrhage (bleed inside the tumor - as was found on the scans) which increased the size of the tumor enough for me to take notice -therefore getting this thing out of me when they did!
I kept telling myself that I couldn't freak out until it was removed and analyzed - which was nearly 2 weeks later. Then they did come back with news worthy of freaking out. I am, for the most part, OK. I worry most about my kids and how much I want to be around to see them grow up. I believe that even with the diagnosis of Adrenal Cancer, that is still possible. With God, ALL things are possible. A friend of mine recently shared her interpretation of the events this month - Cancer was not God's will for my life - and we found it in time for the entire tumor to be removed and to deal with it now. Not later. Now. More Hope. More time.
Monday, October 27, 2008
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Dear Triann and Eric,
The mama bear in me wants to make everything all better for you both. If I could only bake you enough chocolate chip cookies to make it all go away! I want you to know that I am with you both in spirit and prayer. Triann, I picture your sweet smile and I smile. In all of this that we can't understand, I'm so grateful that we share the same faith in a God who knows the "whys" and "how comes" of it all. Still, in my human-ness it ticks me off that you are going through this (I might as well say it out loud; it's not like God doesn't already know it). PLEASE allow others to do all they can to help - they are wanting to do something to make a difference so let them. Eric, it's called community and they won't know what you need unless you tell them (it's not begging). I'd better stop - I'm starting to sound like a lecturing mother!
Much love to you both,
Joanne Harris
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