The kids are SICK. Hence the lack of communication. Basically we have all been struggling with some bug or another. My greatest struggle the last couple of weeks - aside from having to keep up with doctor visits, urgent care and pharmacy runs, and sick, whiny kids has been my dizziness. I have no idea if it is from the meds - which several of my meds list that as a possible side effect - or if I am fighting some sort of bug myself.
Today was a good day. I was actually able to get out of the house for an hour and visit with a new friend over a cup of coffee - thanks to Eric's folks who arrived last night. Bliss!
I need to have labs drawn tomorrow. I return to MD Anderson at the end of February.
Will check in again soon.
Triann
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Coincidence? I don't think so.
I just couldn't get in a good space today.
So I went and grabbed Emily's Bible.
It has larger print - am I really old enough for large print?
Wasn't sure where to start, so I went with the old "open it and see if it inspires me" routine.
It opened to Job.
I was amused.
Several things I gained from the few chapters I read. (Isn't it great that we can read the same chapters, books, and verses again and again and always gain something new - or a tap on the shoulder saying 'you should know this already - you've been here before'.)
First of all, Job had some rotten friends. 'Righteous' friends. I think that they meant well. I know this because we have had friends who have meant well, but really couldn't have hurt us more by their 'helpful' suggestions and opinions.
Next, I am reminded that we cannot fathom the ways of the Lord. He is all-knowing and Almighty and loves us more than we can imagine. I need to quit trying to figure 'it' out. All of the 'whys?' - I need to let them go. Much easier said than done!!
I also needed the reminder that God is in the business of blessing us. After the rain comes the sun, right? He blessed Job immensely because he remained faithful. It didn't mean that Job didn't question, or struggle, or grieve. We are all still human. Yet he still walked with the Lord. That's all he had and he hung onto that. How many walk away in tough times? Then they are really sunk!
But I am on a tangent...
Where I am really blown away is - in His infinite wisdom - He placed the Psalms as the book following Job. The book of song and worship. That is exactly what we are to do in ALL circumstances, but especially when we are having trials and struggles. What will bring us out of the dark spaces?
Focusing on God.
On worship.
On something greater than ourselves and our circumstances.
I certainly don't have it figured out, but enjoy it when the vision becomes a little clearer.
So I went and grabbed Emily's Bible.
It has larger print - am I really old enough for large print?
Wasn't sure where to start, so I went with the old "open it and see if it inspires me" routine.
It opened to Job.
I was amused.
Several things I gained from the few chapters I read. (Isn't it great that we can read the same chapters, books, and verses again and again and always gain something new - or a tap on the shoulder saying 'you should know this already - you've been here before'.)
First of all, Job had some rotten friends. 'Righteous' friends. I think that they meant well. I know this because we have had friends who have meant well, but really couldn't have hurt us more by their 'helpful' suggestions and opinions.
Next, I am reminded that we cannot fathom the ways of the Lord. He is all-knowing and Almighty and loves us more than we can imagine. I need to quit trying to figure 'it' out. All of the 'whys?' - I need to let them go. Much easier said than done!!
I also needed the reminder that God is in the business of blessing us. After the rain comes the sun, right? He blessed Job immensely because he remained faithful. It didn't mean that Job didn't question, or struggle, or grieve. We are all still human. Yet he still walked with the Lord. That's all he had and he hung onto that. How many walk away in tough times? Then they are really sunk!
But I am on a tangent...
Where I am really blown away is - in His infinite wisdom - He placed the Psalms as the book following Job. The book of song and worship. That is exactly what we are to do in ALL circumstances, but especially when we are having trials and struggles. What will bring us out of the dark spaces?
Focusing on God.
On worship.
On something greater than ourselves and our circumstances.
I certainly don't have it figured out, but enjoy it when the vision becomes a little clearer.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
2009
Happy New Year Everyone!
I have been dreading 2009 and also anticipating 2009. I was trying to figure out what my issue was. It boils down to being a little 'gun-shy' after the last 3 years. 2006 was a rough year. 2007 was a challenge to say the least, and well, 2008 doesn't need a lot of explanation to y'all does it? So I'm thinking to myself, what in the world is 2009 gonna hold? I realized there is only one option -great things. Powerful, amazing things from the Lord. Even though the last three years have been extremly difficult, we have had some incredible blessings as well (the whole 'don't throw the baby out with the bath water' saying).
I have felt sorry for myself long enough. We have been drowning in bills for long enough. It is time for change! It is time to step outside of myself and my situation and do something else. I don't even know what that means for me this upcoming year, but I know that we are headed into a great year. I am excited and looking forward to what's around the corner. Will it be perfect? No way! Perhaps it's all in my outlook - and expectations. I know it will be tough. My lab work came back this past week and I have to double my chemo. Now. Yuck. More stomach upset. More fatigue. Less energy.
But what about the good stuff? My sweet Emily just turned 7! SEVEN! Wow! We have been through so much with her health and what a blessing that she is strong and smart and sweet. Eric and I are in our 13th year of marriage - and that is definitely a testament to God being faithful! Daniel is full of energy and humor, Eric has a job, he has started treatment for his autoimmune disease, we have a roof over our head, we have health insurance, we have a loving family, amazing friends, we have never gone hungry - been culinarily creative, but never hungry.
We are in for a great year, not because we 'deserve it', but because we need it. I have this sense of 'pulling up my bootstraps' and taking it on. I am tired of being in survival mode. I want to LIVE in 2009. Not merely survive. That is my prayer for 2009. That we live life to the fullest, take things in stride, and - again - choose joy.
God is good. Life's not perfect. 2009 is gonna be great.
I have been dreading 2009 and also anticipating 2009. I was trying to figure out what my issue was. It boils down to being a little 'gun-shy' after the last 3 years. 2006 was a rough year. 2007 was a challenge to say the least, and well, 2008 doesn't need a lot of explanation to y'all does it? So I'm thinking to myself, what in the world is 2009 gonna hold? I realized there is only one option -great things. Powerful, amazing things from the Lord. Even though the last three years have been extremly difficult, we have had some incredible blessings as well (the whole 'don't throw the baby out with the bath water' saying).
I have felt sorry for myself long enough. We have been drowning in bills for long enough. It is time for change! It is time to step outside of myself and my situation and do something else. I don't even know what that means for me this upcoming year, but I know that we are headed into a great year. I am excited and looking forward to what's around the corner. Will it be perfect? No way! Perhaps it's all in my outlook - and expectations. I know it will be tough. My lab work came back this past week and I have to double my chemo. Now. Yuck. More stomach upset. More fatigue. Less energy.
But what about the good stuff? My sweet Emily just turned 7! SEVEN! Wow! We have been through so much with her health and what a blessing that she is strong and smart and sweet. Eric and I are in our 13th year of marriage - and that is definitely a testament to God being faithful! Daniel is full of energy and humor, Eric has a job, he has started treatment for his autoimmune disease, we have a roof over our head, we have health insurance, we have a loving family, amazing friends, we have never gone hungry - been culinarily creative, but never hungry.
We are in for a great year, not because we 'deserve it', but because we need it. I have this sense of 'pulling up my bootstraps' and taking it on. I am tired of being in survival mode. I want to LIVE in 2009. Not merely survive. That is my prayer for 2009. That we live life to the fullest, take things in stride, and - again - choose joy.
God is good. Life's not perfect. 2009 is gonna be great.
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